Arts And Entertainment

At daylong last! Someone has seen fit to divulge what we've known for decades: Dennis the Menace is actually a faerie who has been fed psychotropic drugs in hopes of making him believe he's a six-year-old toddler so that his parents and neighbors crapper attain money off of him.

Weaned on barbituates, Johnny Walker Red and hits of LSD, Dennis has been led to conceive he's an adorable moppet with an aggressive streak, patch his family and friends ready the direful actuality most his advanced age from him. Yesterday, they took a quantity that they crapper let the actuality discover patch ownership Dennis in the Stygian that he's actually entering his ordinal decade.

Look, anyone who keeps road of time knows that Dennis has issues. LIke Jeffy from "Family Circus," Dennis is actually too older for the life he leads. Why, he should be on his ordinal wedlock by now, trying to ready whatever mediocre middle-management employ so he crapper clear alimony and female support to the prototypal two. Instead, he's unnatural to endeavor in a sandbox, meet edge Mrs. Wilson for cookies and endeavor with his "friend" Joey (actually a cardboard cut-out amount dresed in 1940s little-boy fashions. Why added did you conceive Joey has been dampen all these years?).

So happy birthday, Dennis! You ought to be healthy to go discover and get a swig of bourbon and hit on whatever twentysomethings at your local watering hole. Instead, you'll be made to eat ice-cream cake and wish for a really cool goody bag by the modify of the day.

At whatever point, this septugenarian is feat to amount it all out, and then this strip's gonna be in trouble.

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